Did I Ever Tell You?
Did I ever tell you? Dear intraweb?
My ever day life (at the moment) involves picking up monkey feces. I know, I know what you're thinking... monkeys = AWESEOME! Monkeys = KEEEEWWWWT! But... feces =/ awesome. Feces = gross. Me = gross person. My life = gross + interesting + smelly. I think this blog will end up being an outlet for my awesome awesome poo experiences because that's really all I've been thinking about lately.
So today, I got peed on for the first time. I was standing around as usual waiting for one of those asshole monkeys to take a crap when suddenly I felt the warm warm drip drip of urine running down my neck and onto my back INSIDE of my T-shirt. I look up and am greeted by a faceful of monkey! Great!
Any normal person might leave the monkeys at that point to fetch a spare shirt, but me (being totally used to all foul biological matter these days and a total babe) stayed the rest of my time with the troop smelling of urine and really not caring. Did I tell you about that one time that this grandmother monkey actually handed me her fresh feces because she noticed me collecting them off the ground? She put her hand to her butt while she was pooing in order to "catch" her doody and hand it to me. She put her hand to her butt for me. Because she loves me.
(Actually it really did help me that that grandmother handed me her shit because I had been waiting for like 3 weeks for her to take a crap. She didn't even pee once during that period. I was beginning to think that she was some kind of scraggly robot monkey since most monkeys poo/pee themselves every 10 seconds)
Anyhoo, I digress. From what you say? Um.... nothing really. I think I meant this post to be about how I like to share and learn and stuff but the opportunity is gone now. That will be for another time.
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